


Rainbow Road

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Gen, Mario Kart, rainbow road
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 19:03:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Rainbow Road

S: You almost here?

Y/N: Yea, I just had a mini-meltdown in the car.

S: Bad day?

Y/N: Understatement. I’ll explain when I get there.

While Spencer waited for Y/N to arrive, he picked up a coffee for himself, filled up with sugar and paired with a chocolate chip muffin, as well as an earl gray tea and blueberry scone for Y/N - the usual fare for them at this particular mom and pop shop down the street from the Bureau. “Hey, Spence,” Y/N said exasperatedly as she walked into the small coffee shop and sat down unceremoniously across the table from him. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Her vexed expression melted away as Spencer slid her a cup of tea and her scone. As she bit into the sweet confection, her smile widened.

“Spence, I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

They’d been friends for five years, but it had felt like forever - in the best way possible. “You’ll never have to figure that out,” he laughed, crossing his legs and resting them on a chair beside her. “What happened?”

“All my friends that aren’t you,” she sighed. Her sweet treat wasn’t do much for her disposition anymore. “I’m so tired of being told that I’m celibate and that once I find someone I love I’ll bounce into the sack and have crazy sex all the time. I’m so tired of people saying that I’ll never fall in love, as if love and sex must happen together. If one more person says to me maybe I should get checked out by a doctor because it could be a medical problem, for fuck’s sake, a medical problem, I’m going to lose my shit!”

Thankfully for Y/N, it was a dead time for the shop, so the only other people privy to her well-deserved rant were the people behind the counter. “Asexual an proud, baby!” Brad said, raising his hand in solidarity.

“Brad, you’re cool too, we need to hang out more,” Y/N laughed, taking a deep breath and attempting to let go of her frustration. Brad was the only other person she knew that identified the same way she did - at least in close proximity.

“Then throw me your phone! I’ll program my number.” 

Standing up, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, threw it to Brad and sat back down to continue talking to Spencer. “Like, you’re a good looking guy-”

“Well, thank you-”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “We’ve been hanging out while you’ve been walking around in your boxers, and while I can say that you are a good-looking man, there was nothing going on for me! Why is that so hard to comprehend?”

It was true. When it came to Y/N, Spencer didn’t care if she saw him half naked so he’d frequently walk around in his boxers if they were having dinner together or watching Dr. Who. “Because we live in a sex-crazed society that inundates us all day long with half and fully naked people connected to every piece of media and product that we consume so why wouldn’t you want to sleep with everything that moves?!” He asked facetiously.

“Ahhhhhhhh! It drives me insane!” She exclaimed. “Okay, I know we’ve had this conversation before, but you, and Brad, are the only ones I know that seem to get it…you believe me right? Like it’s possible for human beings to not feel sexual attraction, yes?”

“Of course,” he said. “Some people find naked bodies attractive-”

Y/n giggled. “Like you, who finds all the naked bodies attractive.”

“Yes, but only if they’re also not assholes, for me you have to have both for me to find you attractive, but yes. But there is a reason that having sex is sometimes referred to as bumping uglies, because there is truly nothing inherently attractive about that. It’s sweaty, it’s messy, and it can be great, but you not wanting anything to do with it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.” He leaned across the table and placed his hands on top of hers.

Y/N banged her head down onto the table and into Spencer’s hand over and over and over again - the epitome of head desk. She knew there was nothing wrong with her. She wanted to find love. This wasn’t a phase. It also wasn’t a choice. She could have sex, she just didn’t fucking feel like it! “Why does it even matter to everyone else in the world if I fuck someone or not?”

Spencer laughed, about to repeat what he’d said earlier when Brad from behind the counter returned with Y/N’s phone and took the words right out of his mouth. “Because people are sex-centric. It’s the ‘norm,’” he said, rolling his eyes and emphasizing his point with over-exaggerated air quotes. “Which means if you deviate from the norm, that must not be okay.” The eye roll was strong. If she’d smacked him in the back it might’ve stuck there. “In essence, some people suck hard.” With that, Brad smiled and left Y/N’s phone on the table before returning to the counter. 

“He’s right,” Spencer said. “There are going to be people all your life that are just not going to get it and they’re not even going to try. As hard as it is, you have to try and not let it get to you. There is nothing wrong with you, Y/N.”

Looking around, Y/N took a deep breath, letting it rattle outward as she laughed and screamed. “Fuck! Fuckety fuck!”

“You feel better?”

“I do.”

“But in all seriousness, do you feel better now? You need new friends. Dump them and keep me and Brad.”

“I’m thinking I should,” she replied. “And yea. I always feel better when I talk to you. Can I have a hug?” 

Spencer stood up and wrapped his arms around his best friend. “You free now?”

“Yup.”

“You want go play Mario Kart?”

“Yea, I do.”

As they began to leave, Y/N waved goodbye to Brad and said she’d text him soon so they could get together. “You know sometimes I think that people would believe the existence of rainbow road more than they would asexuals.”

Spencer replied. “True, but that’s because they’re stupid.”


End file.
